Amish Bread, you are a harsh mistress

This madness all started with my mother. Like a drug pusher, she foisted onto me what has to be the world's most annoying snack, Amish Friendship Bread, mainly by roping my children in with "a taste". Look, Chelle! The girls like it! Here, take home a starter... And so it began.

It is the chain letter of baked goods, the rabbit of breads, with each batch spawning three additional "starters" that are meant to be given away to friends and neighbors, hence, the "friendship" thing. I find myself concerned that the opposite might end up being true. If I keep trying to pawn this beast off on people, I fear that I might actually start losing friends.

In addition to my issues with it's reproductive habits, I have multiple beefs with this recipe, starting with the Amish bit. Amish, really? Since when do the Amish add a box of Jello instant pudding to anything? Secondly, was this recipe invented by the owner of a grocery store? Good Lord, look at that ingredient list! Yet I grudgingly bake up a batch (or 4) of bread every time the starter comes due to bake, because my girlies love the stuff. Hence my deep-seated contempt.

In the event that you are crazy enough to try and take this on - PLEASE let me know, because I always have a starter going. Additionally, I have made a few minor modifications to the main recipe that I think have improved it. Here is the original recipe (post starter phase), with my modifications -

wet ingredients
1 cup oil 1/2 c. oil & 1/2 c. chunky applesauce
1/2 c. milk 1/2 c. egg nog
3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla

dry ingredients
2 c. flour (I tried 1/2 white & 1/2 wheat, but I didn't care for the texture.)
1 c. sugar (or 1/2 c. sugar, 1/2 c. maple syrup)
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder (I use the aluminum-free stuff from Bob's Red Mill)
2 tsp. cinnamon 1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon & 1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice mix
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 (5.1 oz) box instant vanilla pudding 1/6 c. cornstarch & 1/6 c. sugar
(seriously, read the ingredients on a box of instant pudding - sugar & cornstarch)
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup nuts (optional) - I've added chocolate chips instead on a few occasions.

Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients. Mix and pour into well greased and sugared bread pans. Bake at 325 degrees for 1 hour until a toothpick comes out clean. - I also cover the pan loosely with aluminum foil about 3/4 of the way through the baking process to keep the top crust from over-browning while giving the loaf a chance to finish cooking throughout.



That is a pain in the butt, as professed, no? But my monkey-girls love the stuff so much that I just keep on making it. I'm thinking of some more possible modifications/incarnations - maybe adding a little solid-pack pumpkin or grated zucchini? Walnut oil instead of vegetable oil? Hmmm....

At any rate, if you think yourself up to the task of baking every 10 days, like it or not, like clockwork, and want a starter, drop me a line. But, when you find your kitchen counters covered in baggies and tupperware full of bread batter, and friends going out of their way to avoid being "gifted" with a starter - don't say you weren't warned.

Recipe: Vegetable Stock

Remember that to do list that I brazenly posted yesterday? Yeah, I only got 1.2 items checked off of that puppy. 1 - the veggie stock. The .2 goes to the single wheelbarrow full of leaves that I raked up before wimping out and retreating to my warm living room and its comfy couches. Never one to dwell on the negative, I will therefore celebrate the completion of the vegetable stock by posting my "recipe" for it here.

Step one - Remove all vegetable matter from your fridge's crisper drawer.
Step two - Wash & chop (or not) said vegetable manner to the size of your liking.
Step three - Throw all veggies into the biggest stockpot you have, top with fresh or dried herbs and seasonings of your liking.




Step four - Fill stockpot with water enough to just cover the veggies, set heat to medium-low, cover stockpot and forget about it for a few hours.
Step five - (Not recommended) Take an impromptu nap on the couch, only to wake up in a panic, wondering if you've started the house on fire with your neglected stock.
Step six - After insuring that the house is indeed still intact, stir and taste stock for seasoning. If done, take off of heat and allow to cool.
Step seven - Strain cooled stock through a fine sieve (I also set a paper coffee filter in mine, so I don't get the spice sludge at the bottom of my broth.) and ladle or pour into freezer containers or ice cube trays. DONE!
Step eight - Optional - After I strained off my first pot full of stock I refilled the pot with water and fresh spices and set it back to cook for round two. The second batch of broth was slightly less intensely flavored, but still very good.

As you can see by my photo, I used quite a melange of veggies - leek tops, mushroom stems, greenish-red tomatoes, delicata squash, kale, garlic, celery, carrots, fresh herbs (rosemary, lemon thyme & oregano) plus the obligatory sea salt and pepper. I might use a little less kale next time, as its flavor overpowered the others somewhat. I used a few cups of the stock to make potato soup for the fam last night and I am really pleased with how it came out. After dealing with all the broth, I chopped/smooshed the cooked down veggies (minus the onions and garlic) and fed them to my chickens, composting the remainder.

Now the veggie drawer is empty and the freezer is full. Not bad for "throw away" food!

Spring Fall Cleaning

All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray...

So goes fall, winter and sometimes a chunk of spring here in beautiful Western Washington. We've been huddled up inside increasingly often these days, which seems to have triggered a mild case of cabin fever/organizational mania in me. On my list of to-do's for today -

*Rake leaves. This might sound like moderately simple chore to anyone who hasn't seen my yard, but trust me, it's a good day's work. True, though we have just 1/4 acre, the previous owner was, to say the least, an avid tree-planter. Therefore, we have around 20 trees of varying sorts in our yard, all of them deciduous.

*Trim grape vines.

*Muck out (or get husband to muck out) chicken coop.

*Drop bags full of ill-fitting clothes off at the neighborhood clothing bank.

*Sort through books for Powells. If you've never been to Powells, well, you need to see it to believe it. They are the independent bookseller here on the west coast, located in downtown Portland. The store covers and entire city block and requires a map to navigate - seriously. Once or twice per year we purge the ol' book collection and take them down to Powells Books to trade in for store credit for new, used books.

*Make stock. We're going to be out of town for a few days and I need to empty out the veggie drawer before we go. Bubble, bubble...

Oof - I'm tired just writing that. I actually started the leaf raking this morning before the sky opened up and drove me back in the house. I don't mind doing yard work in the rain or cold, but I draw the line at rain and cold. You have a message for me, Mother Nature, and I hear you. You clearly said Get out of the miserable weather and go fritter away an hour on the computer with a big cup of strong coffee, my child.

Yes, Ma.

Freaky Egg

When I went out to lock the hens up tonight, I checked the nest box just for good measure, and this freaky mess is what I found -



Amelia hadn't laid for 2 days previous to this. By the way - the shell is basically non-existent. It felt like a warmish water balloon. Ew...

So, my questions now are -

a) Should I be concerned about Amelia's health?

b) Can I eat this egg?

c) Do I even WANT to eat this egg? (At the moment - NO.)

Help!

A Windfall

We had ourselves a mighty bit of wind and rain here in Western Washington last night. So much so, that I could barely sleep for fear that the next wicked gust would topple my sad and dying ash trees, and send them straight through my bedroom window. I probably needn't have worried overly much about that, since the trees in question are so thouroughly rotted that in the event that they did fall and strike something on the way down, they would probably just explode in a shower of spongy bark chunks. But I digress from the point of this post.

The result of last evening's mighty wind was to remove the last of the leaves from my trees, leaving my yard suddenly, startling bare. In such a state of nakedness - the yard, not me - I found a few hidden treasures. I was scrounging up some old bricks that we salvaged from our very old chimney to shore up one of my hothouses that has lately been under daily assault by the chickens. In collecting the bricks I happened to look up and see some completely unexpected kiwis. Amazing!



The plants leaves, which are at this time of the year about the same color as the fruit, had been removed to reveal our little surprise fruit. We found seven in total, which is pretty awesome, considering that our male kiwi plant, has yet again died. I don't know if "he" managed to fertilize our enormous female kiwi before biting the dust or if, as has happened in the past, a bee has made it's way from my neighbor's yard to mine with a bit of kiwi pollen on board. We also found a little four inch delicata squash near the kiwi plant. I hadn't noticed that a vine had wandered over there, but it obviously must have.




I love little surprises like that! Alas, my joy will be short lived, since now that the leaves are all down, I have no more excuses to delay raking them up.

By the way - kiwi pics by Olivia - copyright 2009. :)

This appliance will self-destruct in 3 ...2 ...

We've been having clothes dryer issues lately, which may or may not be attributable to a rodent of some sort making a home in our crawlspace. The dryer's misbehavior coincided with the discovery of the varmint break-in, thereby leading us to believe that the two were connected. About the time that the mystery critter started living under the house, the dryer stopped venting to the outside, and began making a weird high-pitched whine. One friend suggested that our dryer hose might have been obstructed by a nest or a stash of winter walnuts, so we took things apart and checked them out. Even after thoroughly cleaning and re-sealing the dryer vent hose, the dryer is still producing the weird noise, but seems to be drying clothes well enough. So I'm debating on calling out the dryer repair man to see what's what, and I am positively dreading it.

If you have needed a service call for an appliance lately, you'll be familiar with all of the little joys that accompany it - the vague appointment time, the minimum service charge, and often in my experience, the cranky attitude. Am I the only one who feels like I pay $90+ to have an insolent little old man come into my home and shame me for the way I treat my appliances? As if that weren't irritating enough, add to that the fact that with increasing frequency, any given appliance can be deemed unfixable by virtue of - a) the complexity of accessing the problem area b) the impossibility of obtaining a now-obsolete part c) the cost of repair being the same as or greater than the cost of replacing the appliance altogether.

This "problem" is actually a well-designed scheme called Planned Obsolescence that exists to encourage our consumption of the "latest and greatest" that the world of technology has to offer, and trading heaps of money for heaps of trash. It is so commonplace that even the most steadfastly Granola among us is likely to question the wisdom of fixing a however-many-years-old clothes dryer for $300 or buying a spanking-new energy efficient one for four hundred.

But what happens to the old one? Why is that one little cog so complicated and expensive that it is worth everyones while to junk a hundred-plus pounds of metal and plastic in favor of another that will also, inevitably fail? We covet shiny new things, and the manufacturers and marketers of the world have seized upon that by designing products with an inborn propensity for failure. They don't want you to repair your microwave, they want you to toss it out and upgrade. Have you ever even heard of anyone repairing a microwave?

This is just another area where our culture has given in to our lazier nature and taken the path of least resistance, and we need to stop it, NOW. Next time you're faced with repairing or replacing an appliance or anything else, take just a few seconds to think about the process that your choice sets in motion and the consequences of it.

Ok - I'll get down off of the soapbox now and back away slowly... for now.

For more info and opinions on the evils of planned obsolescence -

The New York Times, December 10, 2008

These Days in French Life - A wonderful blog - one of my very favorites! (Update - Unfortunately Rianna has decided to no longer publish her blog publicly.)

Name that Domain!

For my latest project, I have decided to try and cobble together an informational website about foraging in Western Washington. I'm eyeball-deep in research at the moment, reading scads of field guides and encyclopedias of edible plants and fungi, and pumping friends, family & neighbors for information on their picking & fishing hotspots.

However, a larger task looms - settling on a proper domain name for this proposed project's website. So far I've purchased two, but I'm not super in love with either one, and therefore thought I'd ask y'all for your two cents on the matter. Here are your choices -

A) easypickins.info
B) millionsofpeaches.info (a tip of the hat to the Presidents of the United States of America's song "Peaches")
C) Something else altogether - but probably still a .info, because they are by far the cheapest, and I'm all about frugality. ;)

Kindly cast your vote and feel free to offer suggestions, please and thank you.